Sorry AGAIN for not writing AGAIN. Most of my stress is FINALLY over..I’m still not really sure about how my grades and stuff are because my teachers are super Gay and refuse to respond to ANY of my emails. Hopefully I did okay & passes all of my classes with C’s that would be fabulous! My friend’s papers came back from the army so he can’t leave for 40-45 more days..i’m not sure if thats a good thing or a bad thing though…he cleaned up his act so much when he thought he was leaving i just hope he doesn’t fall back into it. I don’t get to see him as much since he moved back to his parents house after school ended. i’m still bouncing back and forth between 142 and 144.. the days are always better when my parents aren’t home & they’re home on the weekends. sooo…they’ll be gone tomorrow though GOOD THING.

I need to clean up my act. I’m starting to get a little wild & while theres nothing really wrong with that…i don’t want to get hurt & most of all drinking makes you gain weight…I hate to say this but I love how i am when i’m on cocaine…….. all i can think to do is put more periods at the end of that sentence cuz i’m pretty much speechless with myself.. I have energy which i lack constantly and most importantly of all & the main reason i do it alot besides the fact of being drunk & thinking its a good idea is because i don’t eat… i’m rediculous. i could’ve got myself in some serious trouble this past thursday..my friend and i decided to leave the bar after we finished working with about 4 older guys… i was already drunk when we left the bar & i continued to drink once we got to the house they took us to. it was horrible..then i did cocaine..& well please don’t judge me i’m even embarrased to write this even though none of you have any idea who i am but i have to get it out there! i woke up at a guy friends house who had already moved most of his stuff out on a pull out couch covered up by one of his button up shirts.. I had no shoes or the shorts i wore the night before instead i was wearing the same shirt and a pair of mens jeans…i don’t know whos they were…i blacked out shortly after we arrived at the house with the guys..i have no idea what happened & i’m pretty angry at my “friend” who left me there alone with those guys..if i were in her situation i would’ve carried me out of there if i had to … but she didn’t & now i have no idea what happened or how i got to my guy friends house or how i got into his house..according to his phone call all of the doors were locked.. i have no idea & i’m extremely embarrassed. & i want my shorts back! they were new! SOOOO advice time..should i call one of those guys & be like uhhh can i have my shorts & shoes back?? sooo embarassing…

–edit–

i was looking at thinspo..i’m going to post pictures of myself..not at all for thinspo obvoiusly but more for reverse & just so i can see how i’m progressing throughout time

peace, love, & tranquility to all

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  1. I have a love/hate relationship with cocaine too. . I love it while I’m on it, I love the feeling- I feel infinite, I love that it makes me not hungry, I hate coming down from it, and I hate how people judge me because of it. I’m fixated by it. . But I’m not ready to give it up completely. . anddd.. about your guy situation, def call them and get your shorts back! I know you may be embarassed, but if you act like it doesn’t bother you there won’t be an awkward situation. Just try to laugh it off..

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