SICK SICK SICK SICK SICK!! ahhh i feel like hell..I thought I would try to act like a total badass & pretend like i knew what i was doing & do like 200 billlion grams of coke..! WTF!! i hate myself & my parents are bitching cuz i didn’t come home last night & i have to work again tonight so its gonna be another late night…i think like every night since like wedneday i’ve come in at like 4 or later.. & its starting to fuck with me!! my face is breaking out like no other & i’m disgusting! & now i have got to eat something really bready & drink lots & lots of water to soak all this shit up & get it the fuck outta my system!

EDIT: 6:58pm

I’m feeling better…thank God! & what made it even better was when I stepped on the scale and it said 140. That is definately not not not not by any means good…but it does mean i’m losing weight. All i’ve had today was a salad with light italian dressing. I need to eat before I go to work. I’m not sure what I’m goin to have. A hot dog sounds really good & I need to get some real food in me cuz I’m still not feeling very good & i know i’ll pass out if I don’t have something decent..I’m not sure if  a salad will cut it…any suggestions? I’m trying to get some protein in.

I know a lot of you readig this are probably dealing with the same thing but I’m anemic. I’m not exactly sure what it means or anything like that just that people with eating disorders are the biggest catagory & seeing as how i’ve been dealing with all this shit for about 4 years now I guess I fit that. Any useful info about it? or is it even really that big of a deal?


EDIT: well..i guess its already tomorrow? 4:08AM

I’m somewhat pleased with myself..wierd huh? I’m feeling soo much better stomach still kinda hurts a lil tho..i’ve never had that big of a reaction to coming down. WOW never again. umm i added 2 meatballs 1/2 a piece of bread and a few pasta noodles to my intake..BUT i didnt’ drink at all tonight at the bar YAY ME!! i’m back!!


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