question: Is my site too busy?? I won’t be offended. i think i might need to change the BG or something. Please tell me what you think.

 

I never feel good. I’m tired of it. I just wish I could see the sun shining. I’m sure it would make me feel better. I hate the cold & rain. I’m always cold. I’m madly in love with the book I’m reading. Skinny. I can relate so much with Giselle. I ate today. sortof…but i ended up on my bedroom floor covered in quilts and blankets crying freezing and sweating at the same time trying to wipe the tears out of my eyes fast enough to read the words on the page. I don’t know what is wrong with me. I don’t have any friends any more and boys don’t even look at me anymore. I feel like I’m invisible. Even to myself. Even when I look in the mirror I don’t see me. I see a sick, pale, tired, worn out figure staring back at me begging me to stop and just be normal. I can’t. I won’t until I’m that girl you know, the one that everyone looks at and every guy longs for and the girl that I will be happy with.

I’m back to my OCD tendencies. I’ve re arranged my room about 4 times in the last 2 days..the sad thing is I barely remember doing it. I feel like I’m not living. There are days at a time where I feel like I’ve just slept for 3 days and nothing at all has passes me by. I need to leave. Far, Far away.

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2 thoughts on “

  1. thanks…i’m kinda scared to try them cuz my friend said they put you in hella pain…but i just wish i could eat and not feel guilty.I’m reading skinny right now, or well i started, i havent really had the time, i hope i like it as much as you do. Also i hope you get better, you dont seem too happy, and i understand why u wouldn’t be, we all hate ourselves and its horrible, but you just have to look at the postive things sometimes, even if there really hard to see. Good luck, stay strong babe.

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