Pregnant…

my roommate and i are going to go to an abortion clinic…i heard people spit on you & try to throw stuff at you..like pro-life people…maybe I’ll get lucky & they’ll just shoot me.

A girl died yesterday. Her name was Shelly. I didn’t know her, but she graduated from a high school in my county a year or so before me. I think she tried to OD on something. She was doing so well, they were even getting ready to take her off life support and then she just crashed I guess. This is not a happy day. Not at all..

What a beautiful fucking disaster of a day lol I tell ya’. I’ve had crazy things running through my mind all day as you can imagine. None of which should be the focus of my thoughts obviously. I met a guy last night at the bar that I have known since I was really young & I haven’t seen him for about 15 years up until last night & my little 5 year old crush came running back lol. From what everyones telling me “he’s fucking crazy”. ha thats just what i need. Another psycho boyfriend….but i’m getting pretty desperate…Plus sex burns like a BILLION calories right? I’m not sure if I want someone butting into my life again. Its bad enough with my roommate..even though i totally LOVE her right now. She’s being so supportive. She’s the only other one that knows i’m pregnant other that you guys & i’m planning on keeping it that way. She is offering to go to the abortion clinic with me and everything. I just called and made the appointment. She may not be able to go because she is supposed to work. Hopefully she will call off, but i would never actually ask her that. Maybe I want to go alone..I like being alone. I’m going to have to leave my house at like 5 in the morning to be able to get there..its about 2 hours away. I wish i could just like fly or something lol. well…hopefully its all going to work out for the better. I have faith for one time in my life right now. & hell the way i’m eating which is practically nothing will stay the same after the procedure and maybe i’ll actually lose some weight this time since i don’t have a fucking human growing insideof me…sorry if this offends anyone. I’m just not fit at the moment to be a mother, i don’t want to get fat, and the thing is probably so fucked up from alcohol and drugs they wouldn’t be able to tell its head from its ass…

but one of these days i’m going to be a fabulous mom. & honestly i can’t wait. I want to be through with dentistry school, married, and be living a stable lifestyle.  I want kids, i do. Just not now.

Stay skinny. & use protection.

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One thought on “

  1. im sorry about everything. I hope no one throws stuff at you at the abortion clinic, i don’t think abortions are so bad, if you need one then you need one, i would do the same thing. Sorry about Shelly, but if she did try to OD then i guess it’s better that she’s gone now, becuz she obviously wasn’t happy.stay strong<3

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