SO much to say so little time..i’m actually about to fall asleep at a semi-reasonable hour…well reasonable for me, that is. Its about 4:15 am. Just got home from the bar. I hate my room mate. I should’ve known better than to live with someone. I should’ve gotten an apartment by myself with my dog. I love my dog. He doesn’t piss me off & i’m not constantly comparing my body with him…who wants to have hair all over & a tail right? I got tons of compliments at the bar tonight. it just seemed like so many people had good things to say about me..none of which included anything about me being skinny, but that they liked my hair & that my boobs looked nice. I never thought i would detest someone saying my boobs looked nice…its only because they’re getting bigger which means i’m STILL gaining weight. I bought another pregnancy test today. I real one. A good one. One of the ones that just comes right out and says “pregnant/not pregnant”. I haven’t taken it yet. You’re supposed to take it in the morning aparently… I’m scared, but I have to know for sure. I haven’t had my period forever and I’m gaining weight! I was super against abortion & all that shit until I actually had to think about it. I’ve done so many narcotics, so much blow, and drank so much alcohol that it would be absolutely impossible for the maybe-child inside of me to have a normal life. I prayed about it last night. It helped a little, I just hope that God sees the same things I’m seeing. Which, well, he’s God so obviously he knows what the hell’s goin on right? Well I’m off to bed. I need some sleep. I’ll let you all know how the test goes in the morning. Good night

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