Sooo last night I went out & got really drunk because I’d barely eaten all day..& I actually didn’t do anything stupid! haha I haven’t partied in a loooong time & so I called my old roommate & we, believe it or not, had a pretty fun time. I knew all along it was her stupid new roommate causing all the shit. && well we’re going out again tonight. I’m really gonna try not to black out & become a complete idiot..we’ll see how that works out
I’m on spring break currently, but there won’t be much of a change in lifestyle I don’t figure. I’ll be working nonstop & trying to, and not to, party too much. I haven’t decided which yet. I think I’m going to do a little expieriment on myself lol as wierd as that sounds. I’m on spring break for a week and everyone’s out of town. I wonder how much weight I can lose this week. I’d be willing to bet about 5 pounds if I really worked hard for it. I’ve got nothing better to do right? I was looking in my mother’s pantry the other day & saw some of those ‘100 calorie packs’ & I thought to myself, gosh if I was going to eat 100 calories it would have to be something that would actually fill me up &3 oreo’s is NOT gonna cut it lol, So in turn, I came up with the idea to make my own 100 calorie packs with things like fruits, veggies, try to throw some protein in there somewhere. Sounds pretty cool right?& I will fill them with things that will fill me up that wont make me hungry 5 minutes later. I can take them to both of my jobs & not be tempted to go out to lunch or snatch some cheese sticks from the pub. I’m actually kind of excited for it lol. I’ll put them in baggies in the fridge that way they’ll be easy access and I won’t have the excuse “it was going to take too long to make”
Another story. I was sitting at lunch today in the commons and had a short sleeved shirt on. I used to cut all the time, but I’ve almost completely outgrew that. I haven’t done it in forever, but I still think about it sometimes. Alot lately. The scars are very very hidden & because I’m so fair skinned you can rarely see them even if you’re looking. But when I get really cold for a long time for some reason they come out in a wierd purple-ish color and are pretty noticeable. People don’t normally ask, because well, lets face it, everyone knows what scars on your forearms are from! ..Except the guy sitting at the table with me. Out of no where he blurts out “Whats that?!” and of course the nosey people all around me turn and stare. My mind went blank and I couldn’t think of anything. All I could do was think of another lie “Car wreck a long time ago” was all that came out of my mouth. Everyone knew I was lying. I don’t care. They call it the past because I’m getting past it, right?? right?
I think its time for a warm relaxing shower. I deserve it.