UGH! I’m trying to detox myself, because the genius that I am decided to get high as a freakin’ kite on saturday and there is a GIANT possibility that I may have to have a drug test on wednesday. THC the main chemical in marijuana is stored in fat cells, the more pot you smoke, the more there is stored. I rarely rarely RARELY ever smoke, but I’ve done is twice in the past week and I know for sure that it will show up on the tox screen. I’m headed to GNC as early as I can tomorrow morning to pick up some niacin, some kind of miracle drug that will cleanse your system, then to walmart for some of those home drug test kits to make sure it works. but honestly today I have drank enough water to send even a fish belly up. I guess thats good though, I think its really cleaned out my system a lot. Thats one thing I don’t do enough, is drink water. I always end up grabbing a diet soda..and of course beer. ahh & I’ve been peeing like crazy! Tomorrow’s plan:

Niacin at like 9am or as soon as GNC opens, stilll water like ccrazy, gym around 4 with Meg and there I plan to sit in the sauna for about 15 minutes to release more toxins and get rid of this extra pounds of water weight. I swear I feel like i’ve gained 3 pounds just by drinking so much water. I didn’t eat healthy today, but I didn’t really binge either. Mini muffins, sm. bag of bbq potato chips, and a grilled chicken hoagie with mushrooms and yeah not exactly the healthiest meal, but still under 800 cals. I’m going to continue to work out regularly and keep tanning and restricting. NO FRIED FOODS and no pop. May 5th here comes thin Sara.


I have to get this off my chest! i know no one reads this and I don’t care, but I just have to let it out! Saturday night like I said I got overly drunk, smoked too much, and crushed too many things into little white powdery lines. Why do I do these things??!! really WHY!! am I really that insecure with myself? Do I really hate myself that much? There was a band playing at one of my favorite bars outside of the city. They’re really good. I went to the bar with a little over 1/2 a bottle of bacardi rum and drank it all by the time 2:00am came around, so I grabbed about 4 beers or so to keep the party goin’. After that, the band invited me and a guy friend who works at the bar to go back to a house and party with them. We snatched a case of beer from the bar and were on our ways. Well we got to the party which had NO beer so people kept trying to mooch off me. I only gave away about 4 and they paid me for them. Shane (guy from the bar) and I finished the rest while of course taking time to toke it up and roll dollar bills to clean the overly powdered mirror. I don’t really remember leaving the party, but we did and went back to his house. I don’t remember walking through the front door, or stumbling towards his bedroom, or laying down beside him, but I have faint memories of his tongue in my mouth and the heat of his body on mine. I’m not sure what else happened because that’s the last of my memory, but I woke up around 11ish and found me alone in his bed and him asleep on the couch in the living room. What should I think of that? Maybe I made him get up? Maybe nothing went further because I said no. What if I said yes?..I saw him today, but all he said about that night was how high we were…I though I’d quit this blacking out with random guys shit. I’m not drinking, not smoking, not doing anything else this week. At all! I need someone to watch out for me.


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