I’m not one to normally complain about being single. I never really have been. I was never the girl in middle school or high school that dated or had the b/f. I was always single until senior year even then it lasted about 4 months because I was not ready to commit or ready for the things he had in mind. My next relationship was the beginning of my freshman year in college which lasted almost 6. and then there was Matt & we’ll just not go there. But that whole thing ended last August. It’s July 21st and I have not even come close to ANY kind of relationship nothing! at all! I mean, I’ve kissed like 3 boys, but come on! Its been almost a year?! The closest I’ve come is meeting a random guy at a bar for a midnight makeout session and once I went to a movie with a guy last december..yeah. LAST december!! I’ve got nothin’. Its not that I can’t find ANYONE who would want to go out with me, but I’m no longer settling for some ass hole that just wants a fuck buddy. I’m looking towards my future.  want a family, children, 4 of them!, i want a big family and a house that fits all of us comfortably, and a dog that will love and protect us. I’m ready to settle down, get serious, and start my life. This weekend I’m going to try to go out to a new place rather than the same old same old places I always travel to. I’m also going to start looking into another job. My bar just brings in the same old same old guys. The ones with nothin goin for them, with nothing to do but drink budweiser and play pool on the shittiest table in town. Maybe I’ll get all “classed” up and hop into a classier bar. I wish i was 21. Its close enough. i’ve only got about 4 months to go, almost exactly! i’m still thinking about the Air force. I’m going to call my recruiter tomorrow to schedule for my ASVAB for the 4th of august. I’ve been studying for it because I want to do very well that way I can have as many opportunites for as many jobs as possible. When I get the list of jobs that I’m elligible for I’m going to shoot straight for the top. I’m going to make a good life for myself, i’ve determined that a LONG time ago, but now I’m ready to share that with someone. September 8th will determine my future. It will determine whether or not I’m guily or innocent, set back or set free and its like I’m walking a tight rope and the light has all of a sudden run out at the end. My next step (8th) could either be right on the path I’ve been walking, or it could be a total drop off. After that drop off I might as well be dead because there will be NOTHING left to live for. My life will end if that happens. I know that I had NOTHING to do with the crime. i know that for a fact and people who have seen the evidence know that for a fact, but there is that ONE person who says that it was me. I will make him eat his words


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