ugh!! fuck..I just back tracked like 3 days worth of work tonight 😦 I’m really upset about it, but I knew it was happening..the whole time I knew what I was doing..Horrible horrible 5 granola bars a 9inch low fat chicken sub, 3 potato skins with grilled chicken and cheese and bacon sour cream and ranch..I feel like SHIT!! absolute shit! and I didn’t even tan today. Tomorrow will be fasted. Maybe some celery, but I’ve got to keep away from the sour cream! I feel like I can’t even breathe. I smoked too much weed & too many cigarettes. The weed is why I binged on all the granola bars. It was some Kill shit lol!..but still. If I’m going to smoke I need to smoke like at the end of a night when I can just go to bed.

All I want right now is to cuddle with someone. Thats not going to happen..No one wants a crazy fat ass, drug addict, with a wicked eating disorder. Ha! Who am I kidding?! Quote of the day for tomorrow:

“Its you that has to work hard. Its you that has tell yourself to keep going. Its YOU that has to push yourself to never quit when your BODY doesn’t want to go any further.”


One thought on “

  1. I absolutely hate that feeling. A week of struggles done in one day.I guess all there is to do is just forgive yourself, because if you hold on to that anger against yourself, chances are itll happen again sooner than you’d like.Good luck tomorrow. I always treat the day after as a high alert day, so im extra specially careful with myself. I hope you make it through

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