I’m going to be a really good mom someday. I’m not sure why I’ve been thinking about this lately. Maybe its some kind of ancient instinct that tells a woman once she gets a certain age that its time to start having kids..Not all women of course. I know of a lot of people that never want to have kids. I couldn’t image NEVER wanting children…but whatever makes people happy. I’ve always wanted kids…and lots of them too. Not like that Octamom or the mormon woman on that show thats like 18 kids & counting..or maybe its up to 20 now lol who knows! I think 3 or 4 would be a good number. As long as I’m able to provide for them. I hope their household is similar to mine growing up too. I couldn’t have asked for much more..maybe a little more family time since my parents were always so busy, but I can’t complain about much…sure I turned out pretty fucked up, but its not their fault at all. They were good parents. I think of names all the time for them lol I know its silly, but its just something I’ve always wanted. And I want to start young too. I mean I’m almost 21 so I guess its not going to be THAT young, but my mom didn’t have me until she was almost 30 and almost 33 when my younger sister was born. Thats waayyy too old for me. I’d like to have my first one at about 24/25 and finish no later than when I’m 33. I think that sounds reasonable…hmm but in order to have children, you have to have sex, and since there is no man in my life and there hasn’t been one for OVER A YEAR now..Things aren’t lookin so good lol. I guess I’m okay with being single. I’ve never been one of those girls who was always in a relationship, hell I got my 1st bf senior year and it wasn’t even much of a relationship. We barely even kissed..but we held hands at school and went to each other’s houses and all that cheesy stuff. Sean was my first real boyfriend. The man I lost my virginity to that could’ve very well been a great husband someday..but he was one of those complainers. You know, one of those people that ALWAYS seemed to somehow get hurt. He would tell me almost daily “Oh I broke a finger at work today, so I had to pop it back in.” Or some other sad sob story to get attention. Maybe its middle-child syndrome..He didn’t get enough attention as a child, so he’s trying to make it up now? who knows..Even now when we talk, he’s hurt something or stepped on something or punched something..It got super annoying. Then there was Matt & that whole things was a fairy tale & he was the wicked witch dressed up as prince charming. He told me everything I wanted to hear, but none of it was true…I guess I’m over that..No, I’m not. I doubt I’ll even be. I still catch myself telling the story. Maybe one day… And so, no new boyfriends after that..Oh well, I always seem to walk through door #2 instead of #1..I’m always second choice, second best, second in line..I’m not sure why. I think I’m somewhat of an all around kind of girl. ..Minus the shit that goes on in my head of course, but no one ever learns about that. But, besides that fact, I am very able to keep up an intellegent conversation, I’m not the ugliest cow patty in the field (not the prettiest either of course), I come from a good family, I have a job, I’m polite, I have tons of hobbies, and I’m just geniunely nice..hmff! aparently no one else thinks so..or maybe they’re just not looking at any of that..I’d date me. I’m easily manipulated, even though I hate to lose, I’m intimidated by men..helps them get their way. ..and I’d do just about anything for a person I loved…I don’t let people get close to me..I’m just the girl alone at the bar..or the one thats standing outside leaning on a fence post smoking a cigarette..one of those girls that catches your eye from afar, but you don’t take the time to walk on over and get to know her and then by the end of the night when you’re leaving with one of the flashy hollywood girls ..I’ve completely left your mind..Yep that’s me, I’m sara…

 

Zachary Mason, Collin Alexander,  Jaxon/ Jackson Cole

Olivia Marley, McKenzie Lauren, Kiley/Ryleigh Victoria, *Elizabeth Daisy <-I love that name.

Or something like that…

I just want a nice comfy house, a loving husband, beautiful children, and a loyal mutt..Is that too much to ask lol..apparently so.

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