I was born a fighter and I’m ready to take anything this fucking world is gonna throw at me. Its back to the grind tomorrow. Headed back to the gym for the first time in almost a month. This pack of cigarettes will be my last. My blow n go comes out monday and I’m done going out on fucking drinking binges. smoking and drinking get me absolutely no where except broke and hungover. I can do this. Tomorrow I’m going to get back into the pool too. I got a new swim suit to work out in, so now I just need to find my goggles…I need to find a smile also. I’m so fucking over this depression bull shit. I am finally able to move on with my life and good things come to those who wait and I’ll tell ya what I’ve been waiting an awful long gosh damn time so whatever this “good thing” is it better be fucking mind blowing. My life’s been on hold for over a year now and my love life’s been on hold for almost 3, so I’m ready. I’m ready for whatever comes my way. If this shit’s the worst thing that ever happened to me then I’m lucky. Everyone always says “it could be worse” HA! I’m not sure how much worse it could get, but I’m gonna keep it in my head that its only going to get better. I still have a little bit of a cold, but I need to get outta bed and back out into the world because laying around all day sulking is not helping it. Tomorrow’s details include: bank (so I can actually PAY for my gym membership that I haven’t been using), GYM (so I can use what I’m paying for and get as ready for the Navy as possible), TANNING package (since I have a little extra cash and when I’m tan I feel better about the way I look) Also, I think tanning helps with seasonal depression and since spring doesn’t look like its coming anytime soon I figure 30 days in artificial sunlight that causes cancer might help hahah! when I finish all that I need to clean out my car and get all my clothes out of it to do laundry and get it ready for monday. Not sure of the plans after that. I need to spend some time with my family, I just hate sitting at home all day every day. lol I complain about working so much and then when I only have 3 days on the schedule I get bored. Maybe I’ll clean up my room a little too and get some laundry put away. I always feel more comfortable in a clean organized room.
Its time to wake up and dig the long-lost, smiling, determined girl out of the closet and get back to life as we know it.