I need to stop making excuses for myself. I spend too much time alone, and not enough just the same. When I’m alone all I do is think. I’m always tired, but I can never sleep. I was thinking about how miserable I am this morning and I had excuses running through my head like- I’m sad cuz I cut my hair, I’m even more insecure with myself now. I don’t have a life, so that’s why I go out and drink all the time. I really don’t have a life though… I don’t hang out with people unless I’m at the bar. I just sit at home all day until I go to work or go to the bar and drink. Then I come home -if I come home at all- and go back to sleep and start it all over again. I need to calm down, not drink so much, and be a person I’d want to date. Not the crazy party girl that’s just shitfaced all the time. I’m not going to drink at all this week and I’m going to go to the gym at least 3 times this week and I’m not going to go to the bar unless I’m working….I’m just too sad. I’m just going to mind my own busines and just make my way through this blinding fog until I find some light.

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