never so glad!

I don’t think I’ve EVER been so glad to get my period…though the cramps are KILLING me..ugh I don’t even want to get out of bed they’re so bad! Had a suprise party for Ricky last night. His ex came..I didn’t invite her..Damn Fairpointe! Everyone knows everything. He didn’t leave with her. He left with me. We went to 2 other bars. He didn’t stay with me. I paid for everything. This has to stop. He sold his digital scales and other drug parafinalia last night. Hopefully he saves his money now. I’m tired of being the man. We haven’t had sex in almost 2 months. I know he’s fucked at least 1 other girl. I don’t think I even like him anymore, I just want to be wanted..

On a better note, I’ve been cutting back eating ALOT. Today I’ll go to walmart and buy some more of those drinking mixes, they really kept me from eating last time. I think they were the hydroxycut brand. I liked them wayyy better than the pills. They seemed to work like a charm. I’ve also been cutting back smoking. I plan on quitting this month. I know I can do it. I just have to make myself want to. I’ve got such strong will power.

More later. its time for a nap. Restricting for the rest of the day.

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