Well there it goes, out the window..Ricky is now “In a relationship” and I’m sure you can guess how I first found out by the way I typed it..Yepp on my minifeed on facebook. We talk every single day. Did he not think that was an important topic to mention? “what’d you have for breakfast? oh btw I’m no longer single!” Come on! Even that would have been better than fucking facebook. I know I should’ve expected it, and I did, that’s not the problem. The problem is that I am always honest and for God’s sake I saved the damn kid’s life! I’m on his fucking life insurance policy! All I want is the fucking truth!! Did he think that by postng it on facebook I wouldn’t be as upset? This is the 3RD FUCKING TIME IN A ROW I’ve been lied to about relationships! Come on men grow some fucking balls. I don’t even know what to do with myself right now. I just want to cry, but I know I don’t really have a reason to. I’m just tired of feeling like I’m not worth the truth. Maybe I’m just not. Its true, I do expect a lot from people, but I don’t expect anything from anyone that I wouldn’t expect from myself. Oh well, a few days ago I was asked out on a date and I declined it. Well ya know what, I’m tired of living in the shadows of other people’s wishes. I’m going to accept that date and I’m going to LIVE for once. I’m actually going to go out there and do what I want, for ME, not for anyone else..That’s the way to be.

 

EDIT: Went out on the date with Jeff. We went to outback, he drove, paid, and opened the doors for me. I’m not going to hold back, I’m not going to be the one who considers the bad things first and pushes the men away before they even have a chance. I’m going to take the chance and I’m going to run with it. Of course I’ve already weighed out the pros and cons, but I’m going to see where this takes me. He is a very nice guy, great family from what I hear, he’s from my hometown, GREAT job and actually has a chance at taking over the business very soon. He knows what he wants out of life and he’s working towards getting it. I’m happy I said yes. I’ll keep you updated. PS I still can’t get Ricky out of my head. BUT I deleted his number from my phone. Suck on that you fucking alcoholic, drug addicted, mooch!

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