Sure, the pain is there, but nothing compares to the feeling of all this filth being washed from my body.

This weekend was dumb. I shouldn’t have gone. No suprise there. I ended up sleeping with Sean, that’s the ex from like 3 years ago that every time we see each other we end up hooking up. We still talk a lot, but he’s MARRIED!..I feel kinda bad about it, I know what its like to be cheated on and it hurts like hell. She knows I had plans to go see him. I’m pretty sure I convinced her otherwise..Hopefully. Friday, I ate a salad on the way down there, then drank my life away in irish car bombs, vegas bombs, and michelob ultras. Saturday we ate pizza and sunday on the way home I got an egg salad sandwhich on wheat (yuck) and munched on beef jerky. I haven’t even weighed myself. I know I’m going to be sick to my stomach if I do..but I really have no know how much weight I’ve gained.  I’m sure its a significant amount.

..Off to go step on the failure scale now. Driving to town after all this to get a hair cut and extensions and buy a tanning package. Lots to do before christmas/new years.

EDIT 11am:

I’m gonna go hop on the treadmill for the first time in ages. I’m not sure what made me want to do this, but I’m sure as hell not complaining. I’m gonna put on my under armor cold gear and layer on some sweats in an attempt to sweat out some of the disgusting toxins I decided to grace my body with this weekend. I know I won’t be able to run long, I thnk i’m getting a UTI and my kidneys are killing me, so I’ll break out the ‘ol tae bo 8 minute workout, my ab wheel, and the jump rope for a few reps. Add some push ups in there to help tone my arms a little too. I miss my old routine! I haven’t done this shit in YEARS!

EDIT 4pm:

Yeah I suck. Ruined my fast already. I’m really pissed off about it, but I’m not going to let it get me too down. The snack I did have wasn’t completely awful, and if I got down on myself about it I would get depressed and shove food down my face all evening long. Sooo re-do tomorrow..I need to make a better plan for my eating/working out habits. I’ve gotta stop this whole binge/fast/binge/fast crap. Oh well..Got my hair cut, bought the tanning package, I’m broke. Time for a quick nap then off to work


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