I suck at dating ….

Its true. I just turned 22 years old and I’ve only had 2 boyfriends my entire life. Not to say I didn’t have my drunken college days full (well not TOO full) of onenight stands and the such, but only 2 real serious relationships. The first one, Sean, was 3 years older than me and MUCH more expierienced. He pretty much showed/taught me everything I know today. We were together for about 6 months, then off and on for about a year. I broke up with him because he was so serious, talked about marriage and all kinds of stuff and me being the young inexpierienced college sorority girl wanted to go out and see new things and meet new people that I felt like he was holding me back on. We’re pretty much perfect for each other and we still talk about how perfect we are together…even though he’s married. We just met at the wrong time and I’ve come to terms with that. As for Kenny, he was just one of those childhood friends that everyone “KNEW” you guys were “destined” for each other..apparently all I was “destined” for was being used for sex & my apartment..He cheated on me and is now engaged with a baby.

Yeah I haven’t had much luck with guys. I’m so used to being single that I think I give guys the wrong impression. I need Dating Lessons. I always get so nervous when a guy asks me out. I like to take things slow. Sometimes I think the guys think I am uninterrested because I don’t try to suck their face (or anything else) right away. I often scare them away all on my own by doing dumbass things when I’m drunk though. I haven’t gotten drunk since my hunting expierience at the beginning of december..wow that’s almost a month. That’s the longest I’ve gone without getting shitfaced in a while. Jeff and I are starting to talk again. He took me to the movies last night. It was nice, I just get so nervous around him and I think he’s kinda shy around me too. We’ve been out twice and he hasn’t held my hand, or hugged, or even came CLOSE to attempting a kiss. I wanna hold his hand. Maybe I’ll make the first move soon. I think this could be a good thing. I’ve just gotta keep an open mind and not get too far ahead of myself.

As far as weight: I’m maintaining. I haven’t been trying to lose though. A guy at work today told me that I should enter one of those modeling things that have open casting calls. I pretty much just laughed in his face. He had to have been drunk. I just told him there was no way I could work for someone who told me what to eat when to eat it when to sleep what to wear etc. Then I said something about weighing 130 lbs and that I’d have to lose at least 20 of those to even get considered. He said “You weight 130?!?!?!?!!!” He pretty much didn’t believe it..So I suppose its a good thing that I don’t LOOK like I weigh 130, but DEFINATELY a BAD thing that 130 is considered sooo outrageous. The dieting begins once again tomorrow.


One thought on “

  1. the dating game is overrated lol. im not so great at it either. i do hope things start working for you though. its such a double standars when ppl are surprised that you weigh more than they would’ve guessed. i never know quite how to take it. anyway just wanted to stop in and offer support.stay strong, luv.~Taylor Judith~

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