130.2

CW: 130.2 130.4 131.2 132.0

Its 5:30 and today I’ve had a boiled potato with salt & pepper and a Skor bar :/ I haven’t had candy in a long while and today I broke down. I won’t be eating for the rest of the day, so I suppose that that’s not a terrible intake, but it certainly could have been better. I’m fasting until New Years at midnight and then I will celebrate the evening beginning with a LARGE glass of Champagne (at work) and ring in the New Year with an empty stomach, a warm heart, a huge high smile on my face, and false hopes of this year being better than the last. I have a bet going with Jeffrey (both of us smoke) for $50 that we can go from jan1 to feb1 without a cigarette. As long as I don’t get completely hammered and mooch one I should be fine. I haven’t been drinking much anyway, so as long as I can stay away from alcohol I should be fine. Same with Jeff, but that will mean he won’t be coming into the bar I work at as often which means less time together. I’m still not quite sure what I think about him. He seems like a very nice guy, but..Oh I’m doing it again! I meet a guy then as soon as I hook him I start pushing him away by counting out his flaws. Let’s put it this way: He’s a high class red neck lol. Meaning he like hunting, fishing, riding 4 wheelers etc..but he drives the nicest truck, has almost a 6 figure job at only 25 and it buying a house..They’ve got money that’s for sure. I always thought I’d meet a guy who liked working on classic cars, maybe huntin & fishin, working out (Jeff said he’s NEVER worked out, although his job requires a lot of strength) and someone that liked to look nice. I just have to keep in mind that breakups are okay. It’s not gonna kill you, its just going to let you know what youlike & don’t like in a guy.

UGH! I have so much on my mind. Fasting will help. I’m excited. Ok so 5pm wednesday to 12am saturday that’s 48+7=55 hours

Wow, I’ve got a 55 hour fast ahead of me. I can do this! I HAVE to do this. I won’t forgive myself if I don’t. I will certainly lose 2lbs Hell! I’ll probably lose 4 lbs by new years. This is going to be great! If anyone wants to join me I’d love to have ya. We can even text if you’d like. lemme know 🙂 Good luck girls. I’m off to work.

55 54 53 52 51 50 49 48 47 46 45

44 43 42 41 40 39 38 37 36 35 34

33 32 31 30 29 28 27 26 25 24 23

22 21 20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12

11 10 9  8  7  6  5  4  3  2  1 

So, this is ending up to be a fast, but not really. I mean I ate the celery and stuff, then earlier I had 3 of those round/square-ish pretzels, they’re only probably 10 cals? each..They’re really small. I’m still restricting VERY heavily, but this just isn’t like my traditional fasts I’ve done before. Oh well. Almost 1/2 way there!

EDIT 11:40 am 12/30 Just like last time I’ll keep this post updated with my fasting information and if I have anything else I feel the need to publish I’ll start a different blog. I’ll probably post some thinspo after my CT scan today. Super nervous about that one, but we’ll just have to wait and see I guess. Mainly stuck with my fast last night I have 1/2 a french fry last night and ended up spitting it out, then on my way home I decided that I NEEDED to go to walmart because I really wanted pizza and i was going to get a lean cuisine thing I made it all the way to the parking lot and my perservierience took over and I turned around. I ended up eating 6 sticks of celery and calorie free (YUCK) blue cheese. It really does taste awful, but if I only allow myself that, I’ll either deal with it or just not eat. We’ll see what today brings. I’m having period cramps. Usually I start around the 25th, but I haven’t started yet, so I’m kinda freaking out, but I am having the cramps, so I’m thinking its okay its just irregular because I’ve lost like over 10 lbs in the past month. maybe less.

Went allll day yesterday (even at work) with nothing. Then I got home, not even hungry, but I ate 8 crackers 140 cals.

8 More crackers this afternoon..why do I keep doing this to myself?!?! NOTHING for the rest of the night! Working out before work to burn those fucking calories form today and last night 280 shouldn’t take me long, but I’m going to double that just to be sure. I WILL be running on empty at midnight.

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