Man, I’ve only known I was having Sean’s baby for 5 days now and its ALREADY driving me insane that I can’t get ahold of him whenever I want to. And he’s only at a 2 week school..Granted, he’s a billion miles away in Hawaii anyway, but still at least when he’s not in that school I can call/text him whenever I need/want. In 4 months he will be a billion X10 miles away in Afganistan and the only want to reach him will be by messages on facebook/email or whenever he gets the chance to call me..which is not very often at all :/ This is going to be tough. Verrry tough especially once September baby (that’s what i’ve been calling him/her til I find out if its a girl or boy) gets here. It will be hard on him too I know. Being so far away and not getting to expierience so many 1st that the baby and I will have. I’m going to video/picture/document EVERYTHING so that he won’t feel like he missed a single thing. I have so many friends that are willing (for now) to help me out as much as they can. ..They say that now, but I could see them getting bored hanging out with a baby all day that can’t talk, walk, anything..when they’d just rather go out and party. Oh well, its just a part of life and I have chosen to accept that life.

I’m going to tell my parents next week by getting a dozen roses. 11 red and 1 white. The card is going to say “11 red roses from YOUR baby and 1 white one from MINE/OURS Love, Sara, Sean, and September baby.”

I haven’t decided on the “mine” or “ours” part yet. I’m leaning more towards “Ours” because I don’t want them to have to ask who that dad is lol. I know that sounds terrible, but I only saw Sean for the first time in a year for 1 weekend. ANNND he’s married, so they might assume that I’m talking about Jeffrey, they guy I’ve gone out on a few dates with recently…UGH! And I have to tell HIM 😦 I’m going to feel just awful, but its not like we were together when it happened. I just hope he lets me finish all that I have to say because I could see him just storming off and leaving as soon as I broke the news. But I’ve got to tell him soon because on Thursday I told my manager cuz I’m not going to be able to work at the bar much longer because of the smoke and the next day we were supposed to tell my boss together…well My manager ended up telling my boss without me and just assumed that our boss wouldn’t say anythign to anyone. Well the next day that news spread like fucking wild fire through all of the employees. So I sure have to tell Jeff soon before he comes into the bar and hears it from someone else.

I’ve got to go to sleep. Its 4:30 AM and I’m wide awake. I was going to clean my room, but I’m too lazy right now and I don’t want to be loud and wake my parents.

Be sure & tell me what you all think about the MINE/OURS thing

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