Didn’t eat past 9 last night. I think I was too exhausted to do anything. Jade was something else last night..Not sure what was up with her, but all she wanted to do was cry and be held. This morning I was down only 8 ounces..This really confuses me. So much is different with my body after this baby. Before I would’ve been down at least a pound. I think I need to drink more water. Today I’ve had oatmeal and coffee and its 6:30 pm..Not too bad..and I’m not really that hungry. I guess I’ve been talking nonstop about weightloss and body image lately, my mom is freaking out, so I’ve gotta eat some for dinner. I’m going to chug a bunch of water before its ready though, so I don’t eat as much as I feel like I want to. I also haven’t smoked today, which is something I do every morning. I’m worried about my milk production & as much as I’d rather just feed her formula so I could just starve the weight off, burning 500 calories a day by just sitting there letting her nurse is too good of a deal to pass up.

Last night’s dinner was rediculous though, but I had been craving it for so long that I let it be my last big horrahh. It was the KFC bacon bowl and just thinking of it now makes me wanna barf. I also ate the potato wedges and since they messed up on our order they gave us one of the chocolate chip cakes which I also ate a piece of. I guess that is a HUGE reason why I didn’t lose as much as I thought I was going to. Oh well, today was a new day, and I’m proud with what I’ve done so far today.

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Lets get real

Okay. Its time. All of the baby weight that was water weight/ going to fall off etc. is off. Its time to get real. Its taken me this long to be comfortable with posting real numbers but I won’t achieve my goals unless I get it out there.

Before baby: teetering between 129/130

weight gained during baby: highest 184 lbs (ugh thinking about it makes me want to vomit)

Weight as of this morning: 156.8

(It has been lower-ish, but only by ounces)

The crackers and popcorn I ate at 1:30 this morning probably have something to do with it. And not only did I eat them in the wee hours of the morning, I ate them in bed :/ ugh!

But on the plus side, I have done nothing to lose the weight that I have lost so far. I have not done any kind of exercise, no diet change, etc.

I am still breast feeding, so I cannot completely cut out my food like I would do any other time I need to lose weight, but I can cut a lot of empty calories that I have been gorging myself with. Also, I read that breastfeeding can burn up to 500 calories a day! Freaking sweeeet!! That woulda been great when my diet consisted of less than 300 calories per day. But I am cutting out sweets completely now, that includes soda which has been my “go-to” item even though it was usually diet when I did drink it. Only water & coffe from here on out (coffee is my LIFESAVER with a 6 week old lol) I am actually currently breastfeeding her as I type haha That takes talent! No more eating from 9pm on through the night. That shouldn’t be a problem once I get this damn sleep schedule figured out. And I need to get up in the morning instead of laying around cuddling with the baby (as much as I love it) I need to use that time for laundry, dishes, cleaning, and working out. I plan on clearing off the treadmill this evening. I can put her in her bouncy seat while I run. I started smoking again (only 1-2 a day) but I need to cut that out. Its terrible for me (as I found out while trying to jump rope this morning) and also the nicotiene stays in your system for an hour & a 1/2 after you finish the cig, so as I have been careful not to feed her in that time, I’m sure its still not good. I know its not good for milk production, so that’s just gotta go. I did 100 reps this morning and thought I was going to die hahaha Its really not funny, but in a way it is because I used to do it while watching tv and just able to go nonstop. I will get back to that. I wish that weather was nicer so I could take the baby for walks :(.. ohh well. I’m kinda glad its not because sweaters & jeans hide a lot more than bikinis! I want to see how much I can lose by saturday morning. I think 7 lbs is realistic with the drastic diet change I’m making. I’ve got to get under 150 EWW! I can’t even believe I’m writing those numbers.

more later.. gotta do baby stuff