I couldn’t figure out how to get it turned the right way.

Exactly 6 months after the birth of Jade. I know I’ve got a lot to work on still, but I’m only 6 pound away from where I was before I got pregant and gained 50 lbs 136.2. I’ve gotta get my ass in gear and start toning up. I’d love to have some ab, arm, and leg definition.



Home alone today, therefore I’m walking around in tight spandex workout shorts and a sports bra and making sure that if I get the urge to eat I stand in front of the mirror and look at myself til I decide to change my mind. I’m cleaning all day, gotta do something to keep busy while the kid is at day care. I need to stay away from the computer because xanga, pinterest, and facebook are slowly consuming me. I’ll pick Jade up around 1:30-2 and we’ll probably take a nap, til 4 ish, so then I just have to worry about the evening hours…which are of course the worst.

I start working back out at the bar on friday. I want to look good. I want to look nice in all of my old clothes, not like they’re painted on me and if I make a wrong move they’ll rip in 1/2. Saturday is st. patty’s day and I’m working 4-9. I bought a light green corset from Fredericks of Hollywood to wear. A corset could make an elephant look good, its just the places that aren’t laced up that I’m worried about. Arm pit fat (because it’s a tube top of course) and the love handles. I can avoid the love handles by wearing bigger jeans, but they just don’t make me look as nice as my tight skinny jeans, so this week I was determined to be about 5 lbs down. Already lost 2 over the past 2 days and I know the only weight I’m really going to be losing is waterweight/toxins, but if anything it will just make ME feel better. After I put a load of laundry in I’m going to plug in the wii and do some zumba or just dance, probably the dance because its more fun and I feel like its a great cardio workout. What do you think would be best?.,.hmm but I’m really craving a cig, ha! I gotta quit, so I can have longer more effective workouts!

The depression is beginning to set in again. I’m not sure exactly what triggers it. Could be stress. Nineteen hours this semester in school, tutoring four grade-schoolers 2 nights a week for two hours a piece, thankfully my extended learning class ends tomorrow evening, so that night can free up, never being able to relax..EVER, money troubles, trying to get back into work somehow (since I can’t think of a LEGAL get rick quick scheme), and Sean pulling a whole bunch of BS with child support, which I still haven’t recieved a dime of.

On the plus side..if there is a plus side to depression, this is typically when my rapid weightloss occurs. I am currently 10 lbs from where I was before I got pregnant. I lost 40 without doing anything at all. I haven’t worked out, haven’t paid much attention to diet except a couple times. I don’t think it will be hard for me to lose these next 10 lbs by just restricting. I’ve been overlaoding my body with so much shit especially in this past week, that I bet once I start to restrict my body will react favorably.

I gotta quit smoking too. I really do, but that can wait. But no more smoking in my new car!! I hate that it already smells! I’ll post a pic I took earlier this week sometime later tonight. Too many watching eyes in the library, and it’s quite bare.