Looked pretty darn good at the bikini party at work. I was the only bartender that kept my shorts on (bikini top & short shorts) for the simple fact that I was NOT going to degrade myself and act completely tasteless to make an extra buck. No one really said anything about it except for one person asking why I didn’t take mine off and when I told him it was because I thought it was tasteless and my morals wouldn’t let me he high fived me and said good for stickin’ to my guns. Anyway, one of the girls has TERRIBLE cellulite and the other one was walking around with a camel toe all night and I heard her say that she thought she was going to be the best looking and the customer she was talking to called me over and secretly told me I looked better than both of the other girls. I have to say, for once, I do think my body was better than any other girl working there..which doesn’t same much for them! I would’ve liked to be tanner and more defined, but I am happy that I was able to get down to a reasonable goal weight by my deadline.

Unfortunately, I completely gave up restricting and everything after the party and I can totally notice. How am I supposed to get to 125 if I eat like a pig. Another downside is that I’m quitting smoking. I’m tired of having addictions tying me down. I want to be free of all temptation, food and cigarettes included. I’m scared I’m going to start pigging out because I’m not smoking anymore, so I need to keep busy to keep my mind off of both. I need to go to the grocery store and pick up some of those hydroxycut drink mixes that I used to use all the time and also some healthy, low calorie things I can take for lunch to my second job.

Yes, that’s right. 2 jobs now. I was barely making it with one, so I had to pick up another and boy is it rough. Work 8:30-4, pick up the baby by 4:30, come home, make dinner, and get ready to leave for night job by 7:15-7:30.

Jade and I had to go in for paternity testing for the child support case against Sean. I’m anxious for it to come back, but I don’t know why. I know for a fact that he is the father and I have no idea why I’m nervous about the results.

Well I don’t want to get into it. I’m starting to lose my tan, so today I’m going to lay out in the sun for a while and then later this evening maybe shoot some basketball with Jay or go for a walk. I need to get back into running.


back to pre baby weight!

I guess they’re right when they say it takes 9 months to gain it 9 months to lose it..almost. I am back to 129 eight months later after gaining 54 pounds throughout my pregnancy. Which is great because I have to wear a BIKINI tonight to work :/ I am of course not exactly happy with the way I look, but I am going to look just as good if not better than the girls I am working with tonight..Unfortunately, they have the boobs that I don’t so everyone will just be looking at their “Assets” while they will be scanning over my entire body. And everyone knows there that I’ve had a kid, so they’re going to be extra critical. I know I would be if I was a customer. I hope that I get good reviews. For the past couple of days people have said things about me being skinny and looking great for just having a kid, but I’m wondering if they REALLY mean I look great, or if they are meaning that I look good FOR HAVING A KID..ya know? I’ve been doing pretty well with restricting. I avoid food all day and then usually have a somewhat normal meal for dinner. Next stop 125!